NORAD TRACKS SANTA 2007

NORAD TRACKS SANTA 2007

OK. I was amused & intrigued enough to check out the partnership between Google and NORAD (the arm of the government tasked with tracking & then shooting down missiles etc). But I did then immediately start to question why our government is spending money on this. You know, a marketing ploy to lie to children through a seriously extended joke.

Then again, there's that part of me which check out the Santa Tracker and felt bad for all those parts of the world that it looks like Santa missed. He did make it to Madagascar and it looks like he carpet bombed Papua New Guinea, but Algeria and Mongolia were skipped completely. I mean, I know he only has one night, but don't those children deserve a fly-by, too?

Journey-Don't Stop Beliving (ZOO BAND)

The video of Arnel Pineda that changed his life...

Filipinos' special talent

Here's a story that I love in so many ways:

Arnel Pineda, a Filipino living in Quezon City, has been picked up to be the new singer for Journey. He was scouted via YouTube, where videos of him fronting his cover band, The Zoo, were posted. Pineda's voice is so like Perry's it's astonishing.

As an extra bonus, I was told about this event by the director of a film I'm producing who's currently living in China and spotted it in a Shanghai blog.

For those of you who have been spared my rhapsodic waxing regarding the special talent of my people, here's a summary: They are the most talented imitators on the planet. Now this is a generalization and it certainly borders on stereotype (or just plain lives in that world comfortably), but I swear it's true. One of the main exports of the Philippines is cover bands. Visual artists within the Philippines know that any original work has a limited lifespan before it is replicated with crazy accuracy and mass-marketed. Filipinos' skill as actors and dancers is also remarkable. As a people, they are incredibly artistic and bizarrely capable of replicating just about any art form.

Now, the downside is that they're not particularly well known for invention or originality. Very few push the boundaries of just about anything. Also, while able to imitate the skill of things, they don't always hook into the thought or emotion which originally generated that art form. There are, of course, exceptions to this. The rate of, say, original composition might be comparable to that rate in the States compared to the general population, but it's notably low compared to the percentage of Filipinos with musical talent.

But this is off the joy which inspired this post in the first place. I love that technology helped to once again collapse historical geographic boundaries. I love that Arnel Pineda, a Filipino imitator of note, has been given the chance to live out his rock star dreams. I love the odd validation of the talent of a good cover band.

The Shanghai blogger chose the right title: Don't Stop Believing.

understanding the source

The source -- or at least a big part -- of my stress is a sense of being out of control. This week I put some more effort into organizing, getting things under control, and while the number of tasks has not reduced (actually increased), I am not quite as freaked out anymore.

This is a lesson that I learned in scuba which I need to remember at all times. When something goes wrong, stop, breathe, think and THEN act.

needed: discipline

I am clearly overextended. Things like relaxing, seeing friends and dating feel inefficient and self-indulgent. Tasks like cleaning and shopping are completely knocked off the list. I realize that all of these activities are necessary for my mental well-being, but I don't know how to handle accomplishing the many things I need to do for the work that I have set up for myself. And there's the catch. This is a situation of my own creation, reinforced by the reality that I really enjoy everything I'm doing and that my current activities are what I have been work towards for a long time. I am also impatient and unwilling to postpone undertaking any of these tasks because the opportunities are here now and I want to take them.

And so, I need to institute more discipline into my life. Mornings need to be organized. The whole day must be organized. I know that I can do all of this. It is not an option to say no. I must also somehow work in some delegation, I know, but for right now that's on the list of things I still need to figure out.

clarity feels good

In the past few days I've initiated 3 difficult, awkward and potentially painful conversations. I felt the need to be direct and honest in order to preserve the relationship that I had with each person, and to give them information they needed to be able to make decisions for themselves.

It's always so hard to bring up difficult subjects. Fear of what they'll think of me or the damage that it might cause to what we have so nearly stops me. It certainly has stopped me in the past. But I learn over and over that it's so much better to be clear and direct -- and that generally my relationship is improved. If not, if they're not someone who I can be open with, then perhaps they're not someone that I want to have personal conversations with at all.

This impulse towards honesty is moderated, however. As I talked about with one person this weekend, honest is different from brutal honesty. Honesty that comes from a place of love, from caring about the other person, is very different from "I'm going to tell you this because I want to talk no matter whether or not you can hear it." I strive to stay away from the selfish version of honesty.

I didn't know how or when to bring these topics up, but knew that they had to be discussed. I gave up trying for the perfect time in favor of not causing undue delay. I was, in each case, afraid. But then I was rewarded with excellent conversations and a deeper closeness afterwards. Today I feel weights removed from my shoulders and smiles coming easily.

I am amazed by how much my life is changed by trying to consciously surround myself with people who want to have this kind of clarity and openness in their lives. I feel very lucky to be in the world that I'm in right now.

Clockwise. Counterclockwise. Destroy.

This morning I irreparably damaged one of my nicest pans by turning the burner on to "high" when I was finished instead of "off." I was alerted by the pungent smell of plastic -- which I initially dismissed, attributing it to the ever-present construction next door. I finally realized what was happening and dashed into the kitchen to see the sad sight of the handle forlornly slumped over, bleeding out its toxic innards onto the once-clear glass cover.

Yesterday afternoon I was telling co-workers that my brain has become too fragmented. I recalled H's insightful comment that my life was understaffed. It is becoming clearer that my being a solo act in all things is not optimal.

believing in love

When completing a profile for Facebook, one section says "Religious views:" I appreciate that they left it open ended -- not a drop-down menu -- so you can fill it in any way that you want. I automatically left it blank and just skipped ahead.

For some reason in the last few days I've been thinking about it. Really the only thing that I can say is that I believe in love. "Religious views: I believe in love." I resisted putting that in because it sounds so hokey and romantic. It sounds girly. It sounds silly, insipid, naive.

Well...OK. Truly I don't know how it sounds. That's just what I think it might sound like. And that projected perception is in conflict with my (self-)image of being sharp, intellectual, a little tough, strong. This is an image which arises naturally out of both my self-reliance and my intellect. I am associated with dry wit, complicated texts, aggressive sports, high risk. Then again, that's a self-image which I think is incomplete, which I think helps to cut me off from others a little, which leads to isolation.

The truth is that I am all that and am still soft and sparkly inside. I hold on dearly to memories of romantic things I've done for others or which have been done for me -- and that I find it confusing that I frequently date people who are not romantic, or are not romantic in the quirky artistic way that I really adore. I dream of things like returning from a hard day climbing a multipitch route to find the path home lined with jars of fireflies and an invitation to release them back into the night together. And I am not ashamed that people might think that I might like that.

And the other truth is that the love I believe in is not romantic love. When it comes to a religious belief, I mean that I believe that if we all focused on love, if we all just thought about how to best express love for each other, then the world would be a happier place. I believe in community, connections, a foundation based on "we" not "I." If we could think about loving without owning, a love that doesn't have the counterbalance of hate or fear or jealousy, a love that was just giving and trusting, then I believe that all good things would follow out of that. It's not easy to do. You have to believe that there's enough love to go around. And I do believe in that.

remarkable

Remarkable is a word which I really should use more often. There are times when I say "awesome" or "incredible" when really all I mean is that the item is worthy of noting, that it deserves a remark, not that it really is particularly great or terrible or truly deserving of anything approaching a superlative. It is, quite simply, remarkable.

I was reminded of this word by a friend just a few nights ago and I have not forgotten it. I was struck both by the pure appropriateness of that word choice, as well as by the familiar feeling that I know so many more appropriate and specific words than I utilize. I believe it is time to reinvigorate my verbalized vocabulary.

The danger of overwhelm

The pressure now is to get moving on several fronts. I know I can, I know I've done it before... but the problem is overcoming friction to get into motion. This is always a dangerous period for me. Once everything's going it's easier. Always.

I find this is also where it's hard for me to be so much on my own. Working independently. Living alone. Single. It's harder to act on the plans.

I like partnerships. Yes, they are hard for me but I still like them.