3.29.2008
New Blog - co-created with Cyan
If you don't know Cyan, then your world is not yet as bright as it will be once you've met her. I am honored and more than a little psyched that she has decided to start a new site & blog featuring the two of us, the Sexiest Geeks Alive. Andrew Mager joined in and helped design it to kick it off. It's a place for us to celebrate the sexy geeks of the world, and also to blog randomly about our ideas. Come check it out. I'm very very (did I mention VERY?) excited about it.
3.24.2008
I wonder and will never know
Three days ago it was my mother's birthday. Or, more precisely, it would have been.
Today when I went out for lunch I overheard a very intense (and supportive) conversation between a mother and her daughter about the daughter's difficulties with her boyfriend. I pictured myself in that conversation with my mother and wondered if I would have had that kind of open talk with her, if I would have sought out her advice.
A few minutes later, I realized with a surprise that I'm only a handful of years away from the real possibility that I could have been the mother in that conversation had I stayed in one particular relationship and had children as my partner desired.
I walked home increasingly thoughtful, bordering on despondent, considering how I have been cut out/have cut myself out of a relationship which so many around me herald as one of the most important in their lives: between mother and daughter. I know it's not everything, and I am not knocking the relationship I have with my Dad, but I hear that it's different and it makes me wonder.
Today when I went out for lunch I overheard a very intense (and supportive) conversation between a mother and her daughter about the daughter's difficulties with her boyfriend. I pictured myself in that conversation with my mother and wondered if I would have had that kind of open talk with her, if I would have sought out her advice.
A few minutes later, I realized with a surprise that I'm only a handful of years away from the real possibility that I could have been the mother in that conversation had I stayed in one particular relationship and had children as my partner desired.
I walked home increasingly thoughtful, bordering on despondent, considering how I have been cut out/have cut myself out of a relationship which so many around me herald as one of the most important in their lives: between mother and daughter. I know it's not everything, and I am not knocking the relationship I have with my Dad, but I hear that it's different and it makes me wonder.
3.21.2008
small act, big reaction
This morning I needed a little jolt to get me started so I stopped by Peet's. Ahead of me in line was a man in his late 50s/early 60s. He had stooped shoulders under his outdoorsy jacket, was slightly balding, and gave an impression of trying not to take up too much space. As we moved closer to the registers, he was peering intently at the pastries, carefully considering his options. I looked into the case and noticed that there were two pieces of banana nut bread left, my morning snack of choice there. The man stepped up and, in a notably quiet voice, ordered one slice of it and tea. I was called to the other register and placed my order (thinking "that's the last slice!") and coffee. Our two cashiers disappeared for a moment, kneeling behind the low case to reach into the bottom shelf. I was handed my order and while waiting for my change I heard the man's register girl apologize to him, saying "I dropped the last piece of banana nut bread. Would you like something else?" The man looked confused and started to look again into the case. I offered my slice back to his cashier saying, "He ordered it first. Take this and I can get something else." My cashier heard me right away, but it took a few moments for the other folks to catch the man's attention so he would turn around. By then another Peet's staff person had joined in and a couple of people in line had also become involved. The guy at my register said my action was "a customer of the year thing to do!" and everyone seemed really surprised.
It was such a small act on my part, but I was struck by the reaction it caused. I confess that I enjoyed breaking up the rhythm of the order/pay/order/pay that is the mark of busy coffee shop efficiency. I also liked making a few people smile. I thought how different it would be if we would all do little kindnesses like this every day. I saw it as an opportunity that I couldn't pass up.
I was joined at the milk bar by the man who asked me shyly, "What did you end up getting?" I told him, "A rasberry scone. They're really good, too." He smiled at me. I returned the smile and said, "Have a great rest of your day!" And I really meant it.
It was such a small act on my part, but I was struck by the reaction it caused. I confess that I enjoyed breaking up the rhythm of the order/pay/order/pay that is the mark of busy coffee shop efficiency. I also liked making a few people smile. I thought how different it would be if we would all do little kindnesses like this every day. I saw it as an opportunity that I couldn't pass up.
I was joined at the milk bar by the man who asked me shyly, "What did you end up getting?" I told him, "A rasberry scone. They're really good, too." He smiled at me. I returned the smile and said, "Have a great rest of your day!" And I really meant it.
3.03.2008
Nerdcore For Life Trailer
This is a film I'm eager to see! I'm in a real nerd love moment right now!
1.09.2008
Breaking Points
I don't know if, as I get older, it's because I have more to compare things to or because I'm simply getting less tolerant, but it seems that I am bumping up against my breaking points more frequently. There are certain behaviors which I find I will not tolerate. I find that I'm able to see them earlier on and catch them before they do real damage. Not all, not all, but more with each passing year. Maybe in the past I was more able to let them roll off my back... Actually I know that the truth is really that, more often than not, I didn't stand up for myself and what I wanted. (There are oh so many reasons for my considering my own needs subservient to others' needs or to the desire to maintain equilibrium but I really don't feel like going into them right now.) Things are changing as I get more confidence and am less willing to waste time. I am no longer so afraid of confrontation -- particularly after I started to realize that the short term pain of tackling issues head-on will be often be far less damaging than the slow drip of resentment eating away at the core of a relationship like the ooze of an acid leak.
People think I'm direct. I know I still have a long way to go before I am actually expressing all that I need to say -- but I will acknowledge that I'm doing better. I will always feel others' feelings and hate it when I'm the source of hurt or resentment. This sometimes causes me to delay saying something that I'm sure another doesn't want to hear -- but I'm learning that in the end I will say what needs to be said. I'm not willing to be less empathic at the same time I'm not willing to just pretend that everything's ok. I don't want to learn to be hard and at the same time I don't want to be a pushover any more. If I can figure this out, I do know that it's the right way to go. But I still have so much to learn...
People think I'm direct. I know I still have a long way to go before I am actually expressing all that I need to say -- but I will acknowledge that I'm doing better. I will always feel others' feelings and hate it when I'm the source of hurt or resentment. This sometimes causes me to delay saying something that I'm sure another doesn't want to hear -- but I'm learning that in the end I will say what needs to be said. I'm not willing to be less empathic at the same time I'm not willing to just pretend that everything's ok. I don't want to learn to be hard and at the same time I don't want to be a pushover any more. If I can figure this out, I do know that it's the right way to go. But I still have so much to learn...
12.25.2007
NORAD TRACKS SANTA 2007
NORAD TRACKS SANTA 2007
OK. I was amused & intrigued enough to check out the partnership between Google and NORAD (the arm of the government tasked with tracking & then shooting down missiles etc). But I did then immediately start to question why our government is spending money on this. You know, a marketing ploy to lie to children through a seriously extended joke.
Then again, there's that part of me which check out the Santa Tracker and felt bad for all those parts of the world that it looks like Santa missed. He did make it to Madagascar and it looks like he carpet bombed Papua New Guinea, but Algeria and Mongolia were skipped completely. I mean, I know he only has one night, but don't those children deserve a fly-by, too?
OK. I was amused & intrigued enough to check out the partnership between Google and NORAD (the arm of the government tasked with tracking & then shooting down missiles etc). But I did then immediately start to question why our government is spending money on this. You know, a marketing ploy to lie to children through a seriously extended joke.
Then again, there's that part of me which check out the Santa Tracker and felt bad for all those parts of the world that it looks like Santa missed. He did make it to Madagascar and it looks like he carpet bombed Papua New Guinea, but Algeria and Mongolia were skipped completely. I mean, I know he only has one night, but don't those children deserve a fly-by, too?
12.20.2007
12.19.2007
Filipinos' special talent
Here's a story that I love in so many ways:
Arnel Pineda, a Filipino living in Quezon City, has been picked up to be the new singer for Journey. He was scouted via YouTube, where videos of him fronting his cover band, The Zoo, were posted. Pineda's voice is so like Perry's it's astonishing.
As an extra bonus, I was told about this event by the director of a film I'm producing who's currently living in China and spotted it in a Shanghai blog.
For those of you who have been spared my rhapsodic waxing regarding the special talent of my people, here's a summary: They are the most talented imitators on the planet. Now this is a generalization and it certainly borders on stereotype (or just plain lives in that world comfortably), but I swear it's true. One of the main exports of the Philippines is cover bands. Visual artists within the Philippines know that any original work has a limited lifespan before it is replicated with crazy accuracy and mass-marketed. Filipinos' skill as actors and dancers is also remarkable. As a people, they are incredibly artistic and bizarrely capable of replicating just about any art form.
Now, the downside is that they're not particularly well known for invention or originality. Very few push the boundaries of just about anything. Also, while able to imitate the skill of things, they don't always hook into the thought or emotion which originally generated that art form. There are, of course, exceptions to this. The rate of, say, original composition might be comparable to that rate in the States compared to the general population, but it's notably low compared to the percentage of Filipinos with musical talent.
But this is off the joy which inspired this post in the first place. I love that technology helped to once again collapse historical geographic boundaries. I love that Arnel Pineda, a Filipino imitator of note, has been given the chance to live out his rock star dreams. I love the odd validation of the talent of a good cover band.
The Shanghai blogger chose the right title: Don't Stop Believing.
Arnel Pineda, a Filipino living in Quezon City, has been picked up to be the new singer for Journey. He was scouted via YouTube, where videos of him fronting his cover band, The Zoo, were posted. Pineda's voice is so like Perry's it's astonishing.
As an extra bonus, I was told about this event by the director of a film I'm producing who's currently living in China and spotted it in a Shanghai blog.
For those of you who have been spared my rhapsodic waxing regarding the special talent of my people, here's a summary: They are the most talented imitators on the planet. Now this is a generalization and it certainly borders on stereotype (or just plain lives in that world comfortably), but I swear it's true. One of the main exports of the Philippines is cover bands. Visual artists within the Philippines know that any original work has a limited lifespan before it is replicated with crazy accuracy and mass-marketed. Filipinos' skill as actors and dancers is also remarkable. As a people, they are incredibly artistic and bizarrely capable of replicating just about any art form.
Now, the downside is that they're not particularly well known for invention or originality. Very few push the boundaries of just about anything. Also, while able to imitate the skill of things, they don't always hook into the thought or emotion which originally generated that art form. There are, of course, exceptions to this. The rate of, say, original composition might be comparable to that rate in the States compared to the general population, but it's notably low compared to the percentage of Filipinos with musical talent.
But this is off the joy which inspired this post in the first place. I love that technology helped to once again collapse historical geographic boundaries. I love that Arnel Pineda, a Filipino imitator of note, has been given the chance to live out his rock star dreams. I love the odd validation of the talent of a good cover band.
The Shanghai blogger chose the right title: Don't Stop Believing.
12.14.2007
understanding the source
The source -- or at least a big part -- of my stress is a sense of being out of control. This week I put some more effort into organizing, getting things under control, and while the number of tasks has not reduced (actually increased), I am not quite as freaked out anymore.
This is a lesson that I learned in scuba which I need to remember at all times. When something goes wrong, stop, breathe, think and THEN act.
This is a lesson that I learned in scuba which I need to remember at all times. When something goes wrong, stop, breathe, think and THEN act.
12.10.2007
needed: discipline
I am clearly overextended. Things like relaxing, seeing friends and dating feel inefficient and self-indulgent. Tasks like cleaning and shopping are completely knocked off the list. I realize that all of these activities are necessary for my mental well-being, but I don't know how to handle accomplishing the many things I need to do for the work that I have set up for myself. And there's the catch. This is a situation of my own creation, reinforced by the reality that I really enjoy everything I'm doing and that my current activities are what I have been work towards for a long time. I am also impatient and unwilling to postpone undertaking any of these tasks because the opportunities are here now and I want to take them.
And so, I need to institute more discipline into my life. Mornings need to be organized. The whole day must be organized. I know that I can do all of this. It is not an option to say no. I must also somehow work in some delegation, I know, but for right now that's on the list of things I still need to figure out.
And so, I need to institute more discipline into my life. Mornings need to be organized. The whole day must be organized. I know that I can do all of this. It is not an option to say no. I must also somehow work in some delegation, I know, but for right now that's on the list of things I still need to figure out.
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