15 years... Reunion was a pretty... uh... interesting experience. It was good to see people, fun to laugh about stuff we did. Very interesting to catch up with old friends, nearly all of whom were talking about their spouses, many of whom were either showing me photos of the kids or telling me their due date. I was also staying with Erik & Shirley and their kids up in Massachusetts, seeing a life that's very happy, and that I did verify I didn't really want. Despite the fact that I've pretty much actively avoided the family life, it was odd to be the only one at my table not married (I was thankful that I met Troy before going so I didn't have the complete loser feeling!). On the other hand, I got this strange feeling that the others felt that I've been the one to keep the dreams we had at Wesleyan alive... through the work that I do, the life that I'm living, the level of exploration I keep up... That was strange. I didn't get the sense of regret from any of them -- their own lives sound quite wonderful for them -- but it seemed as if they were relieved (or curious?) that I was similar to the way they remembered me, and that everything I do and am is in keeping with how I was then.

Also very curious was bumping up against the many holes in my own memory (thank god I didn't do drugs or it would be even worse!). I had dinner with several people that I mostly hung out with sophomore year, and each one remembered some interesting specific things about me -- things which I didn't really remember. In at least one case, I thought it was a misattribution of memory (or, at minimum, a distortion), but in other cases the stories brought home the reality that small gestures make large impressions. I come away reinforced in the belief that I should be giving/helping/enjoying/nice every day, because I never know what it is that someone might need right at that moment, and that there's a chance that I might be able to give it to them. I may even give them what they need without knowing it.

I was sad that I didn't manage to see my family at all while I was there. Bad (late) planning, and memorial day weekend, all conspired against me. I'll have to return soon.