Yahoo! News - Newsom Wins San Francisco Mayoral Race


So Newsom won, and it's might be Willie Brown all over again. That's not good for this city. But to me, the huge shining hope in this is that 50% of registered voters turned out, and they also got a "record number" of absentee ballots. I think that's pretty amazing. Also amazing is that the vote was nearly 50/50, when Democrats are 54% of the registered voters, and Greens are only 3%... I gather faith from all this that there is potential in the future to re-engage people in politics, and in believing that they can make a change in their environments.

I wonder what the future holds, with Newsom as mayor, but Gonzalez as president of the board of supervisors, a board which has opposed Newsom many times in the past.

I'm loving the runoff for the SF mayor. Today, walking through my neighborhood, there was so much activity trying to get people out to vote, and many signs of support for the Green Party candidate, Matt Gonzalez. There was even a homeless man standing next to his cart with a Gonzalez sign hung around his neck. Somehow, all of this seems to make me feel like we're experimenting with true democracy, where the people care what happens and everyone feels that their vote actually matters.

Such a breath of fresh air after all the despondent thoughts about the political machine ever since our President was (not) elected 3 years ago.

grrr... having a hard time right now. fell yesterday, re-injuring the same ankle I've been trying to heal for over a year. Then got back to my house and discovered that someone had broken into my car and stolen the stereo. Damn.

A stressful and not-so-fun time gets worse.

Troy suggested that I buy a lottery ticket since all my luck seemed to be working in the opposite... and since I'd never won lottery before, then perhaps this time I would. That kind of twisted logic appealed to me so I bought a ticket.

Ooooh... very excited about the San Francisco Ocean Film Festival. It's organized by a guy who was in a class with me at Film Arts Foundation last year, and will include a documentary by another guy who was in that same class. Very cool stuff.

Now I'm thinking I'm a little out of my mind. I'm seriously investigating what it will take to make my doc. Yes, I've produced 2 before, one which I co-directed and was in 3 languages. But they were both supported in that I did them as part of my job, and got help finding the money. I didn't actually have to put too many parts of my life on hold in order to get them done. And (more critically) I didn't have to max out any credit cards.

On the other hand, as an artist, I'm very drawn to the idea that I'm looking to make a doc that doesn't have to fit someone else's political agenda and is not designed as a teaching tool with a particular message. That sounds much more like what I'd like to do.

So I'm taking a producing class with a very experienced and fairly bitter indy producer. I went in knowing that I was never going to make any money with documentaries, and I was fully prepared to try to get it done in and around doing other work. Through this class I'm getting a more full picture of the level of debt I'm likely to get into. Will it scare me off? Probably not. But I just have to be prepared.

Well we're back! That was incredible. I've been asked a few times now about my favorite part of the three weeks, but I don't really have one. It was all so different, and so amazing. Soon I'll be putting up some excerpts from the travel journal I kept.

Tonight it's Hallowe'en, and we're heading off to the East Bay to help run a haunted house for kids that Troy does every year. It's odd to have dropped back in to regular life here so quickly after having been so disconnected while we were gone... but that's normal.

I'm happy that tonight it's raining up here, and I pray that there will be more cool weather and rain in Southern California to help end the wildfires. Not only have they been generally devastating, but they came perilously close to my dad's and my brother's new homes. Happily, the winds turned and neither of them were evacuated, but as long as everything is still on fire, I worry.

This has already been an amazing and a complete vacation... and we´re only 1/3 of the way through! We completed the Inca trail 2 days ago. That was one of the most difficult and most incredible experiences I´ve ever had. We had a fabulous guide and were on the trail with 5 other hikers, 11 porters and one insanely talented camp cook. We thought we were going to be roughing it, but that part was only true for the trail itself, not at the campsites. The trail was enough. I swear that at some points (particularly on day 3, the hardest day the hardest and longest day of hiking, the day of greatest altitude and sharpest cold --25 degrees F --, and day I was dealing with a painfully gassy stomach and a total lack of appetite), I did not konw how I thought I was at all physically capable of handling this climb. But we had an amazing guide who walked with me on some of the killer staircase portions. Juan (the guide) also taught us a lot about Incan history and religion, and made the trip far richer than it would have been without him. Machu Picchu is also so much more than I ever imagined. I just can´t believe how large it is and have been caught up in its mystery...

Troy and I are now in Ecuador, where we have a day in Quito before heading over to the Galapagos. I´m very excited! This is one of the most incredible trips of my life already...

yes! we're in Lima! Last weekend of SFLX was fabulous and very exhausting. Then Troy and I hopped on a plane and are now at the Hotel Antigua Miraflores... We're off to the Museo de Nacion to learn about all the stuff we're going to see for the next week... More to come!

Yes, I'll try to keep this up while we're in Peru... but I'm not promising anything. I'm getting excited about the idea of spending 3 weeks unplugged. Troy and I will have 3 weeks together with no email, no phones, no Lindy Exchange...

Yes, I'm looking forward to that. Not that I'm not excited about SFLX, but that (like all events I produce) makes me think a lot more about what other people need and not myself.

In other news, I'm getting very worried about this recall effort, and about our insane President. And the U.S. Census Bureau report on Health Insurance is shameful for such a wealthy nation. I really don't feel like identifying as an American a lot of the time right now.

whew! life is very complicated right now. getting ready to head off to Peru, getting ready for the SF Lindy Exchange (which I'm organizing), trying to finish up some work.

so why am I blogging? because i need to get back on with this...

So Leni Riefenstahl is dead. A complicated and influential documentary maker. Helped to lock in Hitler's power through influential filmmaking while refusing to cut Jesse Owens' successes out of her work. Basically the founder of modern sports films, and the first one to use crazy camera angles and tracking the action of the games. Perhaps the ultimate "I'm just an artist" defense to all accusations that she participated in the Nazi horrors. And a brilliant filmmaker. So so complicated.

phew! finally fixed my blog issues... took a little while to clean up all the settings.

The last couple of months have been excellent. Much time with Troy, and all good. This past weekend we went whale watching and saw the largest animal on the planet: blue whales! Then we crossed the state to go hiking for 10 miles, then checked out the largest single living organism on the planet: the giant sequoia named "General Sherman." Last weekend we went out to Bodie, a ghost town which was the first place that electricity was transmitted long-distance (13 miles!). Funny story there: They ran the wires in a straight line from the river to the mill, fearing that if the wires bent, the electrons would "jump off" and the system wouldn't work. hee hee. Now it's the largest ghost town in a state of "arrested decay." Kinda cool. Also walked around on a volcano crater and checked out the weird moonscape of the tufa formations on Mono Lake.

Getting ready for Peru. Must finish lots of work and hold a lindy exchange before I can go, though.

Can you believe the U.S. Supreme Court? Is it even possible to get my brain around what their ruling in Lawrence vs. Texas means?? So so excited! If Texas' sodomy law has been struck down, they're all going to fall!

What an excellent ruling during queer pride month! That, plus the ruling up in Toronto to allow queer marriages... whew!

This weekend, Pride Celebration truly will be celebratory!

Now let's see what our illustrious president has to say about it... hah!

Today, of course, the news is heavily about affirmative action & college admissions. My personal opinion (which is what a blog is for, after all) is that we shouldn't be looking at race so much as class. That's the real issue. Yes, racism has contributed significantly to all sorts of messed up injustices, but when it comes to educational access, the issue really feels like one of class to me. Would be good to get that conversation more strongly out there.

Just returned from Yosemite, and I'm really really sore. More my muscles, but my ankle took a bit of a beating as well. We hiked around 16 miles on Saturday, most of the way up Half Dome, but then I bailed out on summitting. I'm really glad I did. Would have been bad. Today mostly my muscles are sore from going through such a huge amount of work after so long being a lazy lump. But it was so beautiful out there, I couldn't resist. I do love Yosemite!

I'm really going to have to get in shape for Peru. This is going to take work.

whew! time is a-flyin' by. Since I last posted, Troy (yes, he has a name) and I have become positively cemented together. Strange only in that it's all happening fast, but somehow it feels right. He's also a major traveller, and I'm hopping onto his next chosen destination: Peru in October! We're going to be hiking the Inca Trail to Machu Pichu, checking out the Galapagos and doing a little scuba diving, then taking a canoe into the Amazon for a few days. Definitely a whirlwind dream vacation. I love that for him, too, a dream vacation eschews all 4- and 5-star hotels, and instead involves camping out and random forms of transportation. This is good.

So I'm trying to learn Spanish (must try harder), and am going to be working through the summer. Haven't done that in a few years... At least I'll get more diving and climbing time... once my ankle finally heals up, that is... I actually haven't climbed anything in 2 months or more. It's making me a little nuts. I've been cleared now for face climbing, biking, and hiking. No crack climbing. Diving is a maybe, provided I can tape up. But at the end, I hope to be more fully recovered from my now 2-year old injury. I'm determined. If I could heal my back, I can heal my ankle.

In other news, still working like nuts. Putting together the next SF Lindy Exchange. Trying to finish unpacking into my apartment. Enjoying the sunshine.

15 years... Reunion was a pretty... uh... interesting experience. It was good to see people, fun to laugh about stuff we did. Very interesting to catch up with old friends, nearly all of whom were talking about their spouses, many of whom were either showing me photos of the kids or telling me their due date. I was also staying with Erik & Shirley and their kids up in Massachusetts, seeing a life that's very happy, and that I did verify I didn't really want. Despite the fact that I've pretty much actively avoided the family life, it was odd to be the only one at my table not married (I was thankful that I met Troy before going so I didn't have the complete loser feeling!). On the other hand, I got this strange feeling that the others felt that I've been the one to keep the dreams we had at Wesleyan alive... through the work that I do, the life that I'm living, the level of exploration I keep up... That was strange. I didn't get the sense of regret from any of them -- their own lives sound quite wonderful for them -- but it seemed as if they were relieved (or curious?) that I was similar to the way they remembered me, and that everything I do and am is in keeping with how I was then.

Also very curious was bumping up against the many holes in my own memory (thank god I didn't do drugs or it would be even worse!). I had dinner with several people that I mostly hung out with sophomore year, and each one remembered some interesting specific things about me -- things which I didn't really remember. In at least one case, I thought it was a misattribution of memory (or, at minimum, a distortion), but in other cases the stories brought home the reality that small gestures make large impressions. I come away reinforced in the belief that I should be giving/helping/enjoying/nice every day, because I never know what it is that someone might need right at that moment, and that there's a chance that I might be able to give it to them. I may even give them what they need without knowing it.

I was sad that I didn't manage to see my family at all while I was there. Bad (late) planning, and memorial day weekend, all conspired against me. I'll have to return soon.

For my birthday, I did something I haven't done in a long time: I was completely unplugged for 3 days! No email, no logging on, no work... It was kindof amazing. I just enjoyed Disneyland & playing. Actually took a weekend, and then added a day. Pretty dang nice. Also just great to feel goofy and fun and with friends who are the same.

I also made the request for donations of time/money to nonprofits my big birthday wish and lots of folks came through. It was so cool! Getting emails and phone calls about who donated what to where. I loved it.

Now getting ready for the 15-year college reunion. Whew! What's that going to be like?

Suffering a little emotional dualism these days... on the one hand I'm all giggly and stupid about the new boy (and trying to be cautious and not overly invested at the same time)... on the other, I'm working on a document about HIV/AIDS in communities of color and it's making me all frustrated and depressed (and yet I'm hopeful that this kind of work will do some good)... what's a girl to do?

Well it's my birthday today. Feeling a bit silly about that as well. Unlike in years past, I'm not going to have a big goofy party (or 2, as I did last year). This time I'll celebrate with friends in a few weeks (in a delayed big goofy party), but leave tonight for Disneyland. Exactly the sort of place a hyperserious 36-year-old HIV consultant should go. After that, I'll drive down to SD and play with my nephew who's apparently saying my name all the time now. Yippee!

But first, a major conference call about African Americans and HIV. If you haven't, go get tested, y'all. Then break out whatever amount of time and/or cash you can spare and help someone out, HIV-wise or otherwise. The situation is dire and this administration is not helping.

OK. These delays between postings are getting kinda out of hand. I'm going to have to remember to put stuff up. I confess it's easier when I'm not feeling swamped by work, and when I'm in a weirdly osscilating mood. Very different from an osscilating rhythm, let me tell you that.

One blind date, didn't go anywhere. Last week, though...someone who makes me laugh. And who thinks I'm fun and not just silly. Or, rather, thinks that silly is a good thing. Ahhh... dating.

In other massive news: Paul & Tina had a baby! Well, really Tina had the baby, but Paul did as much as he could. Yippee!

oh feeling kinda peppy and kinda stressed. Stressed from work, peppy from a blind date. it went well. We had a drink and called it a night, and i had fun. Nice to feel like I can do that again. Now I'm home, not particularly interested in working (it is 11:20 after all), but feeling like I should. Oh the dangers of working at home, huh?

The judge sent a handwritten note thanking me for being a juror. (I expect that she sent one to all 12 of us, and to the 2 alternates as well). That was a big surprise, but a really nice one. I gather that they have a hard time filling juries right now (spoke to a judge about there being an increase in the number of cases which go to trial) and she seemed truly appreciative of our being there. She also mentioned that we were surprisingly on time and attentive.

Deliberating was really interesting. It reaffirmed my belief in the jury system. We really worked to talk through everything and be sure that each person understood everyone's concerns and then came to a consensus. It was fascinating.

In Philippine news: 12 people will be nailed to the cross in tribute to Jesus on Good Friday; another bomb explodes on a bus, this time in Cotobato (far from Davao, but on the same island); and a defense lawyer likens Estrada to Jesus. This would be a good time to point everyone to Macky's artwork, particularly his drawing of Estrada.

The trial took a turn yesterday. It sounded fairly straightforward, then one witness' testimony, and the judge calls the two lawyers into the chambers, we're suddenly excused an hour early and asked to return the next day (today). It's kind of exciting. When I started I thought it would be interesting to apply my analytical head to a legal situation, but once I was there I really took in the weight of the responsiblity we have as a group for another person's fate. This is case is not a life-or-death thing, but it's still significant for anyone to be called "guilty" or "not guilty" on a felony. It affects how future employers see you, how you see yourself.

I'm very glad to be doing this.

Serving on a jury is interesting. My life is greatly about puzzles, and this is one on a grand scale.

My apartment is coming together. I finally have some artwork on my newly painted walls. Bringing some color and style into the space. Makes me happy. It's feeling a little grown-up, but that's part of me, too. As long as the whimsy doesn't leave the space it'll be ok. Audrey assures me that even if I tried to avoid it, something eccentric would creep its way into the space. I guess that's true, based on others' reactions to my stuff.

I really don't think I'm eccentric at all. But I suppose that's an external description... or at least it should be. No one should tell me that's how they think of me.

My current picture of citizenship:
-- I'm serving on a jury of a criminal case. Unlike most of my friends, I was not interested in trying to get off the jury. If I'm ever on trial for anything, I would want intelligent, working people to decide my verdict.
-- I'm horrified that San Francisco is spending "tens of millions of dollars" on increased security measures to protect our landmarks at the same time I'm helping nonprofits who provide key human services to prepare for severe budget cuts.
-- Election signs are starting to go up around the city and I didn't even know an election was coming. I worry that people may be less willing to vote after the last fiasco when we ended up with our bellicose president.

.... I'm mostly feeling exhausted.

currently sitting in a cafe, working on my own laptop, drinking a nice cabernet. It's nice to have fully restored my "got no strings" life... laptop, wireless network card, and a wireless network at home. Slowly exploring all the cafes in the city that offer wireless DSL.

I have to admit that it was more than a little disorienting to see that a bomb was exploded in the airport out of which I had flown only 2 days earlier. A convoluted sentence for a convoluted situation. Four bombs went off in the greater Davao area that day. Not a good time for my family to be in the hotel business there.

Desperately trying to get oriented. I'm behind in work and distracted by everything that's happening in my world. Must focus on something.

Currently at the Tokyo Narita airport. I think I've just discovered the breaking point in the ratio: 96 hours on the ground is not enough to balance out 48 hours in airplanes and airports. Next time I break 100.

Looking forward to a little G&T and some shuteye on the next flight. Tummy's all filled with yummy unagi and soba... mmmmmm.....

rereading my last post...clear that I'm trying not to get maudlin. working on that a lot right now. Most of the time it works. This morning spent a long time looking at Mt. Apo, watching the clouds gather. Taking that space felt good.

I'm in the Philippines. Many things stay the same (like the music). Many things change (like new stringent smoking laws, friends no longer living here, my grandmother dying). It's always odd, but perhaps underscored by only being here for 4 days with 2 days of travel. Before I left SF, I came up with a new goal: to spend 7 days in a row in SF. It's a big one, but I'm going to try...

Elvis was on my plane. He's fat and wears a tacky red jacket.

The president of the Philippines sent flowers to my grandmother's memorial. Am I really part of this family?

Currently I'm really hungry so this will be short. Time for some food I can only get here, like a banana cue from a street vendor.

Been a long time since I've posted.

I've realized an odd thing: I'm having difficulty getting things into my hands which are actually mine. I've ordered a new mattress to replace the one I have, but they won't give it to me until I manage to get a spot of dye off the old mattress. Through some idiotic sales behavior, the laptop I thought was ordered and on its way actually wasn't... I hear there's one coming now. A large paycheck was to be delivered to me by a friend, but it seems to have gone through 3 other friends' hands (who were being helpful messengers) on its way to mine; tomorrow I'm supposed to get it.

This is all feels odd and fairly frustrating.

today's thoughts are tumbling around

can't believe how much attention is being focused on the ads during the superbowl. Definitely the game was nothing to be excited about (Raiders never should have moved to LA, only to return in shame), but still. Seems silly to give NPR time to talking about advertising...

In a bit of a whirlwind career-wise. Seems I have a lot of opportunities in both my documentary and my HIV careers. Pretty damn amazing. Just need to buckle down and do work, then figure out what I want to do next.

I'm a lucky lucky girl.


oh -- pretty cool that my two doc pics from sundance were the audience award (My Flesh and Blood) and grand jury prize (Capturing the Freidmans) winners. Then I got all excited about The Station Agent, and it won the audience award for drama. Pretty excellent.

Greetings from Sundance!

I can't believe I'm actually here! Wandering around, getting introduced to some really cool directors, producers, composers, everyone. Talking like I'm in the industry, telling everyone about the next doc. Makes me feel like I really am going to be part of this world. I'm excited.

Stuff to see:
Capturing the Freidmans. This is an incredible doc. I can't tell you too much about it, because you really should experience it. Also, My Flesh and Blood, a beautiful and fun doc about an amazing family.

That's it for now. Have to go see another. More later.

Yesterday my friends moved all my stuff into my new apartment. I'm really in it now! Feels like a good start to the year. Just found out last night that it's also the year of the ram/sheep/goat this year on the Chinese calendar. My year. I read once that the year of the goat is the year in which peace treaties are signed, and when long-standing disagreements are resolved. This doesn't sound likely with our current administration, but I can hope. The goat is frequently called in to be a diplomat. The goat is also very artistic. I'm hoping for a year of peace in which I make art. On the other hand, I just read that I "would be best as an actor, gardener, or beachcomber." Those are solid career paths...