the countdown to departure truly started today in my head. I'm running out of time to get things done, and I'm getting more excited to be there. I think it's time for me to be in a different place, maybe try to calm this restlessness and vague dissatisfaction I'm dealing with. Dissatisfaction with what? I don't know. That's why it's vague.

Things seem to be calming down in the Philippines. I don't think there's anything to worry about. I'm just plotting more video stuff to keep busy. I got a minidisk yesterday to record the peculiar sounds there. I'm just going to be a recording maniac. And I got some shorts and short-sleeved shirts today. It's warm there (87 degrees) and I don't want to wear worn-out clothes around my family so I had to get a couple of new things.

that's all. just notes. now to finish reading "Driving Mr. Albert: a trip across america with einstein's brain." Quite good. You should all read it.

just realizing that I leave in a few days. Tuesday, to be exact. My parents left for the Philippines two nights ago. So far, no bad news.

Joyce, who I wrote about on 6/21, has invited me to join their group for some of the workshops with tribal artists and performers. Sounds excellent. Signs are pointing in neon that I need to join them -- the group has reservations at my family's hotel during the time I'll be staying there. I suppose it's a good thing I saw her here, otherwise I might see her for the first time in 5 years in Davao and that would definitely freak even me out.

Last night went to see a lot of short films of varying quality. A very nice surprise was seeing Cherisma again (one of the best & most beautiful actresses I've worked with), with the added bonus of her telling me that I'm one of her 2 favorite directors. She has some plot for a documentary project. I may be getting into yet another one.

I suppose I have to start thinking about what to pack, etc. All I've been thinking about is video gear, but I suppose I really should have some clothes, too...

art

bought a plate from Christy Beckwith. Very beautiful abstract pattern on the side with a quirky painting of a dress and boots in the center, along with the following words:

Well okay. So there was a mild
discrepancy between what I was supposed
to be doing and what I was actually
doing. It all started when I was suddenly,
casually inspired to whip up a batch of
My infamous Mardi-gras Margaritas
and the next thing I knew I was dressed to
kill & making my way to the dance floor.

can't you see why I had to have it?

Religion of Coincidences, meditation #2

Yesterday, went to Claire's birthday party. She and I met through swing dancing, and a significant number of people there were dancers. Her sister, Danielle, was also there, along with her roommates and a friend of Danielle's, Leonard. I meet them all, and Leonard says, "We've met before." Turns out, we did meet when Rob & I went to his reading of his latest novel last year. He was Rob's MFA professor, and is a friend of Danielle's. That's just odd.

There's a community networking theory which talks about identifying the hubs of groups for contacts and/or information. I get the feeling that I'm in that role sometimes. Or else that I'm the free electron, zooming about from atom to atom, randomly changing their charge for a while and then moving on.

Yesterday's big news is that Philippine troops are thought to have killed Abu Sabaya, leader of the Abu Sayyaf. They haven't found the body yet, but they know he was wounded and fell into the ocean. Today, the government intends to ask the US to stay on in the Philippines for a while.

I talked to a friend whose father is currently farming in Basilan and Zamboanga. He says it's actually not nearly as scary there as we read about. Chris' dad actually says he's run into no trouble and is simply running his farm as usual.

I actually felt quite satisfied about the world cup game yesterday. I felt pleased that the US played such a great game, feeling that finally the US has joined the rest of the world in the soccer arena. Sucks that the result partially hinged on a ball that escaped Kahn (the goalie) only to be deflected by a defender's hand...Still, it was nice to watch Sanneh as he was magic all over the field and well worth the sleep-deprived haze that I stayed in for the rest of the day. Now I'm all about South Korea. Would be so excellent to see an Asian team take it all for the first time!

ok. so if I believed in some kind of master plan or in the religion of coincidences, I'd have plenty of proof in my world. Tonight a series of events with an unexpected end result:

1) a client decides to cancel our evening meeting 6 hours before it's supposed to start
2) my day-long meeting runs later than I thought and I arrive at the theater too late to conduct interviews with audience members in line
3) I decide to buy a ticket and see the movie at the last minute (Karmen Gei. Really beautiful but confusing film out of Senegal.)
4) I run into an friend there, Chris, who I frequently see at film festivals, but who is rarely alone. Tonight he's without his group and we decide to sit together.
5) As we're leaving the theater after the show to grab some food between screenings, I see someone else I know who agrees to hold a couple of seats for us.
6) I buy a ticket and run in to sit down in my seat maybe a minute before they lower the houselights
7) Having recognized her laugh during the show, I confirmed after the lights came up that the woman next to me was Joyce, who I haven't seen in about 5 years. (We did a couple of very intense and very cool theater projects together, and had several overlapping friends) We are amazed, and happy to see each other, and then truly stunned by the realization that...
8) Joyce is leaving for Mindanao (Philippines) next week and will be cruising through Davao with some other artist friends (who I have met) while I'm there.

This is odd. I used to have quite a reputation for running into people I knew everywhere I went (this extended to other countries sometimes), but I thought it had slowed down. I do know a lot of people, but still... things like this get odd.

I didn't mention that Koji, who requested this blog in the first place, is one of my unplanned-infrequent-contacts. I saw him at Chink-O-Rama, coincidentally going to the same night of a show that ran for 3 weeks. And before that, when I saw him at the SF International Film Festival, he happened to be walking by on the sidewalk as I was emerging from a shop door; I had to follow him for a bit to get his attention because he was listening to something on his headphones.

People always just reappear in my world. I guess I should be nice to people all the time because I can be pretty sure I'll see them again somewhere sometime.

Yippee!

I just got my mini DV video camera! Finally! Now I can start putting words and thoughts into action and make all these random docs that are running around in my head. I'm sooooo happy!

What first? Getting used to the camera and playing around with the mics and stuff. I have to know these tools better. I have lots and lots to learn. This is going to be fun.

Just interviewed Jennifer Arnold, the director of "American Mullet." I was wrong about her. She does not have a mullet. She did cut her very long hair into one while she was making the documentary, but now her hair is all short. Despite my initial disappointment at not being able to have coffee with a mullet, our conversation was very interesting. She touched on one of my pet issues, which is why you get to hear about the interview. She would like to see more ways to support queer filmmakers who are making films without explicit queer content.

This issue goes way beyond just the queer community. In general, it seems to me that artists of various communities (people of color, women, transgendered, disabled, queer, etc) are expected to produce work that explicitely includes content related to their demographic. I think this helps to contribute to the ghetto-izing of this work, and feeds into the habits of audiences which choose to see only things which they find familiar in some way. Also, I've seen (and, I admit, made) plenty of bad art which has high emotion or just is "of the community" and so is forgiven its technical/artistic/structural flaws. I'm not saying that this work is not important, but it's frequently young or unsophisticated or just plain redundant. I also believe it's also important not to put restrictions on definitions of who we are, and to work to define ourselves as whole people outside of a survey check-box.

There's my rant for the day.

Oh, and not feeling so great about having the Marines in the Philippines get fired upon yesterday. Not that I care for the Marines, but I worry that our war-loving prez is going to get all gung-ho in the region and try to re-establish a solid American military presence in the Philippines. They've been through that before and don't need it any more, thank you very much.

I did speak briefly with a friend in Davao today. He said there was nothing to worry about in the city itself and was looking forward to my arrival. He also felt that 4 1/2 weeks was too short a visit...

Report from the Lesbian/Gay Film Festival for today:

Did see "American Mullet" this afternoon. Just hilarious. It was quite long, since the makers were committed to exploring the full world of mullets, so they travelled all over and got a wide variety of mullets represented. One of my favorite women in it had quite a philosophical take on her mullet, seeing it as emblematic of her drive to escape gender boundaries, being as the mullet is a hairstyle that is worn by both men and women. Also, she pointed out that the mullet is popular among lesbians and among poor straight white men. Poor straight white men who would never hang out with lesbians, and lesbians would never hang out with them. But the mullet is something that they share. The audience applauded her. I just loved that.

Tonight saw the first feature-length lesbian film to come out of China, "Fish & Elephant." Quite an amazing feat, really, to get that piece made. Ran into a lot of friends at the screening that I haven't seen for a long time, including Koko, the crowd favorite in Ming & my last documentary. She's now out to her whole family and going to have a commitment ceremony to her girlfriend in September...and the whole family is coming! It's just amazing. In the Cianna-adds-a-new-project-to-her-plate category, I told her that I absolutely wanted to do a follow-up to our doc, and do a short piece on them getting ready for the wedding etc. A what-happened-to-Koko-after-our-doc kind of thing. She agreed. So I guess I have something else to shoot now.

For those of you who haven't been around my ramblings in the last couple of months, I'll fill you in on the rest of my projects as I go along. I believe that if I break the list to you slowly, it's more believable. And maybe you may be more likely to think of me as creative instead of just scattered.

Oh, key information that I neglected to put into my previous posts: I'm leaving for the Philippines on July 2, and will be there until August 5. My aunt left for there tonight, and my parents will be leaving in a week. We're in rotation. It's a little different from a coordinated family vacation, and was the best we could do on our schedules.

Time to curl up now and watch the US/Mexico game.

The FBI is not being all that helpful in the Philippines right now. Word is, some agents sprung a wanted man, an American "treasure hunter" named Michael Meiring, from a Davao hospital last month. It's news now because a new arrest warrant was released yesterday for him, charging him with illegal possession of explosives related to an explosion in Davao on May 16. We're so helpful!! If I were FBI I'd watch out, though. Mayor Duterte (who acts like he's playing a lead role in a Clint Eastwood film and rides around on a Harley) is pissed and "threatened to arrest US agents who operate in the city without any coordination." This man is serious. He basically dealt with a raging drug problem in his city by making it ok to find drug dealers dead. No messing around with Duterte.

I am happy to hear that the US troops are doing some good on Basilan, however. They've been building roads and helping secure clean water supplies to the towns in the area (by digging wells, etc.). The moslem area has been passed over in favor of Catholic (and historically more stable) areas in the south. Now they're getting a little bit of attention. The military tactic is to reduce the susceptibility of the locals to insurgency talk, and to increase the legitimacy of the Philippine goverment in their eyes. We'll see if the government keeps it up when the GIs pull out, but for now I'm all for getting some kids clean water and food. If only it didn't feel so temporary I might feel better... Of course, this story *did* appear in the New York Times.

In lighter news, I'm excited that I get to meet and interview the director of "American Mullet" on Monday. She not only films the mullet life, she has been wearing one for years. I'm going to have to restrain myself from asking her if I can touch it...

Thanks to all for the great feedback on this already. Thanks also, T., for the marriage proposal. Unexpected reaction to my starting a blog, but it was sweet.

why journal?


The most justifiable reason is to allay the fears of my friends who question the wisdom of my upcoming trip. I will be spending 5 weeks in the Southern Philippines. Reports from there are conflicting: today a local paper said 50,000 recruits were being trained by the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (usually fighting the government in a land war -- think "West Bank"), another that the MILF says they want to join the fight with the government against the Abu Sayyaf (linked to the Al Quaeda), rumors that more kidnappers were taken by Abu Sayyaf as they retreated, the Philippine government says all this is not true. The U.S. is sending 1,000 more of our own troops over there anyway just for fun. And little of this is in the U.S. papers. The U.S. State Department has not yet raised the level to a "travel advisory," leaving it as a "public announcement" for the old RP right now. Am I dumb, too trusting, heretofore amazingly lucky, an unreasonable risk taker, or simply trying to live life and deal with it as it comes?

Regardless, my posts here next month will demonstrate that I'm still alive and able to type.

My friends there tell me that everything is actually fine, and they're looking forward to my visit. It's been 4 years. I plan mostly to dance, shoot video, eat, and see how much my grandmother remembers. And the Philippines are always turbulent and beautiful anyway.

tonight I start a blog in response to a request from a bassist who periodically and unpredictably appears in my world. Tonight an evening of connections, I thought it worth a try. Connections? I gave a standing ovation tonight -- an infrequent event -- to a queer hapa sister who did not get up there and preach sing-song melodrama, but went for the throat and we, the audience, choked out laughs in response. I was weak after... my hands shaking. I have to say thank you. I know the risks are great, that there's some kind of insider-ness that is being exploited -- to make points about exploitation -- and I'm all for it.

I would never have dressed up as Fu Manchu to MC a tribute to Asians In Space all those many years ago if I didn't believe it was both necessary and utterly ridiculous. And damned funny.

This is your task before Sunday. See Chink-O-Rama. The name should be enough of a filter for those of you who don't know why I'd tell you to go.

and so a new phase is begun in my digital life...