I'm starting to think that the phrase "I'm living vicariously through you" is one of the most sad and painful things to hear. It smacks of regret, inaction, unrealized hopes, loss of hope. I've heard it twice recently, each time from a woman who has much to look forward to. Once it was directed towards me from a woman who is about to get married and who is about to go back to school, and once directed towards a friend of mine by a woman who is recently married and currently pregnant.

I don't know why it's bothering me so much. It's not a compliment to me. It's said as a joke, and a way of saying that my friend and I are each doing interesting and exciting things (which we are), but somehow I just want to stop them from even joking like that. That kind of comparison and regret cannot make people happy. And that bothers me.